Inappropriately Timed Conversations
by Janus3003
Summary: Darkseid launches yet another assault on Metropolis, and the JLA shows up to save the day. However, Superman and Wonder Woman can't seem to focus on the task at hand.  Just a light SM/WW one-shot written for a contest.


_Disclaimer: Justice League and related characters are property of DC Comics._

**Inappropriately Timed Conversations**  
>By Janus3003<p>

It was a bright and sunny day in the grand city of Metropolis. The sunrise had been beautiful, there were enough clouds to provide some decent shade, and there was a pleasantly cool breeze to make everyone comfortable. It was certainly an incredibly idyllic day.

Except for the army of Darkseid's parademons ransacking the place, of course.

Naturally, the Justice League was quick to respond. In fact, such a thing had become so commonplace that the people of Metropolis continued about their errands, nonchalantly avoiding collateral damage with little trouble. No one knew why Darkseid even bothered anymore, though there were well-founded theories that he was simply bored out of his mind.

Despite the constant repetition of this situation, the Justice League had their hands full. Flash was running at incredible speeds, leading the parademons into traps and ambushes. Hal Jordan, the Green Lantern, was throwing whatever green weapons he could imagine at his foes. Batman arrived in the Batwing, jumping on top of a parademon and beating it down in midair, and continued to do other amazing things because he's freaking _Batman_.

Superman and Wonder Woman were also helping in the fight, but their attention wasn't solely on the matter at hand.

"So, what'd you think of it?" Superman asked, punching a parademon in the face.

"It was okay, I guess," Wonder Woman responded, pounding two parademons' heads together. "The action was fun, but they- do you mind spoilers?"

"No," Supes answered, ducking an energy blast. "Go ahead. I don't plan on seeing it."

Diana nodded and threw an enemy into one of his comrades.

"They had Perseus get together with Io, who had absolutely nothing to do with his story! That's not how it happened!"

"Really? Wow, that's unfortunate," Superman said as he grabbed a parademon by the head and kneed it in the face. "So, do you recommend I wa-"

"Little help over here, guys!" Hal asked as a flying tank full of parademons began laying heavy fire down on him. Superman and Wonder Woman flew over, still continuing their conversation.

"Eh, I wouldn't spend money on it. You might watch it on TV- _oof_- or Netflix sometime," Wondy said, grunting a bit as she tore open the tank's topside.

"You should check out the original, if you haven't seen it already," she continued as she and Superman proceeded to punch out every enemy in the tank. "The stop-motion's cheesy, sure, but it has a lot of charm."

"I'll have to look into it sometime," Superman answered non-committedly as a parademon punched him directly in the chest. Though it broke its fist in the process, it was enough to send Superman flying back a ways (granted, he hadn't really focused on properly grounding himself).

Cracking a small smile, Wonder Woman flew past Superman.

"Whoa, there!" she laughed, catching him from behind.

"Thank you, Diana."

Diana chuckled again, and then suddenly sniffed at his neck area.

"Ooh, you smell nice," she said, smelling him again. "Very musky. What is it?"

"Old Spice, actually. I hate to admit it, but those ads worked on me."

"Hey, people," Flash radioed in, "I don't know if you noticed, but there's still a huge load of parademons attacking. Would you mind focusing up just a _teensy_ bit more?"

"Right. Sorry, Wally," Superman answered in a mildly sheepish tone.

"On our way," Wonder Woman replied, letting go of Superman with a small sigh.

"Has anyone seen Batman?" Hal chimed in. Wonder Woman looked at Superman, and they both set off to search for him. Dozens upon dozens of parademons got in their way, but being, you know, Superman and Wonder Woman, they punched the crap out of them and soldiered on.

"Where were we?" asked Superman as he scanned over the rubble.

"Old Spice?" Wonder Woman suggested as she punched, elbowed, kneed, and kicked parademons away to allow Superman to continue searching.

"No, before that."

"Before that? Um…. Oh, _Clash_, that's right! The original's a lot of fun. And like I said, the effects are dated, but the Medusa scene is very intense."

Superman nodded. "It doesn't really sound like my kind of movie, to be honest."

"Come on, Kal, you'll like it, trust me! Ju- hey, look over there!"

They saw a large pile of unconscious parademon bodies, likely forty or fifty. Several more were flying in, and in the middle of it all was Batman, somehow jumping from one to another, defeating each and every one with his bare hands and batarangs. Somehow, he was making out with Catwoman in the process.

Superman and Wonder Woman simply shrugged and flew back to the main fight.

"Bruce is fine, Hal," Wonder Woman reported over the radio.

Suddenly, a large Boom Tube opened up, blinding everyone nearby, and Darkseid himself appeared on a floating platform.

"**Pitiful beings,"** he said in his awesome voice, **"your world will fall before my might. You shall worship me as your god, and all will bow before the might of Dar- what the **_**crap**_**!" **he exclaimed as Superman put his arms in a lock and Wonder Woman began repeatedly punching him in the face.

"Like I was saying," Diana remarked as she continued pummeling Darkseid, "you need to give it a chance. It'll be fun!"

"**Augh!"** Darkseid cried out.

Superman laughed and shook his head a bit. "Okay, Diana, if you say so. But if I watch _Clash of the Gods-"_

"_Titans."_

"_Clash of the Titans_, you have to watch _To Kill a Mockingbird_. Switch?"

"Switch? Sure, why not?" she answered, stopping her assault on Darkseid's face. Superman flipped him around and kicked him to Diana, who threw him in another lock.

"**Omega Beams!"** Darkseid shouted, shooting Omega Beams from his eyes. _**"Omega Beams, dang it!"**_

Superman ducked Darkseid's attack and proceeded to rapidly beat his face in (figuratively).

"What do you say?" Kal-El asked. "How about tonight we make a big bowl of popcorn and watch _Clash of the Titans _and _To Kill a Mockingbird_. Just the two of us."

Darkseid tried to wriggle his way out of Diana's lock, so she kneed him in the tailbone to put him in his place.

"Now, Mr. Kent," she answered with a coy smile, "Are you asking me on a date?"

Superman stopped punching Darkseid, and Wonder Woman threw him back through the Boom Tube. Darkseid normally would have uttered a villainous threat, but all he could do this time was groan in pain.

"That I am, Miss Prince. 7 o'clock tonight at the Watchtower?"

"I'll see you there, mister," she answered, quickly running her finger under his chin.

"Oh, for the love of- _Could you not have these conversations in the middle of a fight!"_ cried an exasperated Flash.


End file.
